Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

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Swag.

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

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why is billy g is really supid because he gets bad grades

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Dick Chaney

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

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The Colts this year.

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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well it rained all night the day i left, the weather it was dry, i can't remember the words but susana don't you cry oh susana don't you cry for me for i come from alabama with a banjo on my knee oh

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Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Q:What colors make black? A:Nothing Thats a Shade

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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