what purple and jolly barney who doesnt love his charactorial warmth!# not weird

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms or legs.

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Two guys walk into a bar the third guy ducks

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Knock Knock F*ck of I'm watching p0rn

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

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When Chuck Norris dives into a pool... he gets wet due to the aqueous nature of the water

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What store adopted the dog ? The Pound

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Why did Anti-Joke.com close down? It didn't. If your reading this, the site is fully operational and up to date with your system.

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Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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Why were the 3 men wearing black suits? They just left their mothers funeral, she died of terminal cancer.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he was late for a meeting

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What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

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Where was Susy after the bombing? Everywhere.

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what do u call something black and hanging from a tree.............................. a black guy

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

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Camon is to Jerry Sandusky as Cole Ryder is to Will Higgins!

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Yo Momma is not fat.

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How do you tell when your dog is dead? I don't know. I never had a dog and my parents beat me.

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Why did the little boy wipe his face with a towel? It was covered with his dog's blood after getting hit by a bus.

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Why was the Chinese man so sad? He's Asian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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