Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin who? Exactly.

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Waiter, there is a hydrogen conducting carbon nanotube in my soup. That is part of the special, sir.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

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Why are Asians so good at math? because of their work ethic and determination to become the best at everything.rice.

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Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

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What did the duck say to the other duck? Something, But us humans don't speak there language to understand

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What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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That joke was so funny that I fell off my dinosaur. Then afterwards had to be put in a rehabilitation center because I am schizophrenic and dinosaurs are extinct.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Trash gets dumped Just like you

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What happend to the Jew when he was near the fire place He very carefully tended to it

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How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

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Three men walk into a gay bar, and have a great time because they're all of consensual age and brought condoms for safe sex.

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Why did the weiner dog that punctured Doris' bladder get carried away during an oral sex session? Because the dog had a terribly troubled childhood which led to a faliure to adequately function in adulthood

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A man is working at a bar. He feels a fly graze his left index finger, which has become a bit sweaty. The man rubs the finger for a moment, then continues to slice grapes for a customers synthetic japanese glue farm.

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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knock knock who's there bob bob who bob marley who else

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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ermm Hello ? what about me says rishi with a tear down his eye

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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