How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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I'm dressing up as a shia for halloween

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What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

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Knock knock Who's there Police, there's been an accident Oh really? Know i'm actually a serial rapist and i have a gun so open up

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whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

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YOLO

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

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Knock knock. Who's there- oh wait, I don't care. Get away from my house or I am going to call the police.

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A man gets hit by a car. His family is sad and plans a funeral.

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Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Sex

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How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

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friend 1: Alright man, i got your back friend 2: AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A Hispanic was walking down the street, he turned left and was at his house.

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

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Women don't need an education. The only book they need is a recipe book.

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Why did Gary have severe learning difficulties? Because his mother drank a lot of alcohol while she was pregnant, and it harmed his development significantly.

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what would you watch during a scary movie? anything you want.

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why was the boy sad? because his mom just punched his hamburger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops