How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

thumb_up thumb_down +3

friend 1: Alright man, i got your back friend 2: AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

YOLO

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Sex

thumb_up thumb_down +3

One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Women don't need an education. The only book they need is a recipe book.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock. Who's there- oh wait, I don't care. Get away from my house or I am going to call the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Hispanic was walking down the street, he turned left and was at his house.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man gets hit by a car. His family is sad and plans a funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what would you watch during a scary movie? anything you want.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Gary have severe learning difficulties? Because his mother drank a lot of alcohol while she was pregnant, and it harmed his development significantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first baby. Why did the third baby fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Chocolate makes everything better, except obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops