what did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? get down.

Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 brutally raped and murdered 32.

So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? most likely one unless there is physical disability that makes this person incapable of this action

Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

What's worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in two dumpsters

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

What do you get when you take a bag of chips and divide it by 5? a Nike store worker's meal

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

Did you hear about my new Muslim friend? Hes the bomb!

Why can't jokes spit?

what happened when spongebob and Patrick were mean to sandy? she made a hurricane

just in time?

What did the chicken say to the.... nevermind

Why couldnt hellen keller drive because she was a women

GIRL: Honey, for a holiday we should go someplace nice BOY: How will that work, none of us speak Mexican...

How do you punish Helen Keller? Sit her in the corner and deprive her of things she likes to do.

What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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