Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

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What do fruits and computers have in common. Microsoft.

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What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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denisssssssssssssss

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What has no eyes no arms no legs and the lack of a brain? You for liking this joke

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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I'm so punny.

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A skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a mug of beer and a washcloth.

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whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

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A man walks in to a bar, He sits down and enjoys a pint.

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Roses are c0ck violets are vag this joke is for george i like it like that<3xxxx

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you give like i give lomain

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Q.what happens if a fat man see's a black man? A. the fat man eats the black man thinking that he was chocolate

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Why is a cat in the desert like Christmas? Because Egypt is a country of deserts, the Egyptians had cats and Jesus, Mary and Joseph escaped to Egypt in the Christmas story before Herod carried out his massacre in Bethlehem on baby boys of under two years old.

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Why was Armando unable to be found by his friend Ashley ? A: They both were murdered 7 years ago, and bodies are unable to do anything if they lost their soul that was with that body.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Kevin. Which? Kevin Smith or Kevin Johnson? Kevin Johnson. Oh ok, come in please.

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What happened to to dyslexic giraffe that tripped over a brick. It got back up.

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why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

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What do you call a saxaphone playing unicorn, that's flying away to a distant planet on a penguin? a dream

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vatalk you are retarded!!!!!

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Justin Bieber.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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