A man walks in to a bar, He sits down and enjoys a pint.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An invisible man sleeping in your bed! Who ya gunna call? Most likely the local police department to report the strange incident possibly brought on by lack of sleep. NOT Bill Murray.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the docter say to its patient? What?? Im sorry sir you have aids

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Guess what? Bananas

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's big, old, and brown? A tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q:Where was The Declaration of Independence signed? A: At the bottom

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What has no eyes no arms no legs and the lack of a brain? You for liking this joke

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Justin Bieber.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red violets are blue or at least that's what they tell me because I am blind

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The chicks at the bar last night were do hot. The girls weren't half bad either

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the Jew cross the road? After looking both ways many times, repeatedly, to make sure there was absolutely no element of possible danger, he concluded that his best option was the cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are blue My walls are yellow

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the boy lose the race? Because he is morbidly obese.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you do when a blonde takes the pin out of a grenade and throws it at you? Take cover as there is a person close to you wielding an active grenade.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the tornado cross the road? Because it's a tornado, that's what tornadoes do.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What do you call four black guys hanging in a barn? A: Farm tools

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the old lady sad? Her husband was raped by an angry gallon of milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the baker rich? Because he had a lot of money

thumb_up thumb_down -7

your momma so fat, that she secretly crys every night, because she is so self concious about her weight. and has to talk to a therapist because shes bolemic and has suicidal thoughts, because she cant stand the way she looks

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops