Yo mama so fat, she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and has been instructed by her physician to exercise and regularly monitor her blood glucose levels.

Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

What do you get when you cross an Indian and a duck? An Indian duck.

why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

Knock, knock! Who's there? your enemy your enemy who? your nemesis who was brutally raped and murdered last nigh.

2 nuns were in a bathtub. One says to the other "Could you pass me the soap please?" The other replies, "What do you think I am, a radio?"

Whats worse than a suicide bomber? Hubcaps

Guess what day it is!!! Sunday? Monday? Tuesday? Wednesday? Thursday? Friday? Saturday? IT'S HUMPDAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting shot in the knee several times and bleeding to a slow and painful death.

Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

Why did the black man enjoy KFC. Because like many foods, it contains monosodium glutamate (MSG) a flavor enhancer that makes many foods taste better. It however had nothing to do with race or cultural background.

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

What's big and purple? Barney

What do you call a dick with blonde hair? Joffrey Baratheon.

How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

Knock Knock. *silence* Knock Knock.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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