DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

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A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

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What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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whats funny about anti jokes? nothing hince the name ANTI.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

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What happened to the young baby after her mother died It grew up got a collage degree and had a great life growing up with her dad and visiting the cemetery every year

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Whats fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? Theres twenty of them

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A little boy who can't reach the doorbell.

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Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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What's the color of the sky when an airplane takes off? Blue. What are you, stupid?

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What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the bat mobile? Robin,get in the bat mobile.

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? answer: Where's my tractor?

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What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

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You idiot thats 9 letters

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3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

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Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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