what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

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why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

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Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

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There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

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Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

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What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

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Jellybeans

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One time i was sitting down

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Your momma is so black that she probably has ancestors indigenous to Africa.

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Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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