What did Heinrich Himmler say to the chicken? I'll take that liver thanks.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What do you call a pig and a ball when u come across both of them? A ball hog!

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Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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Q: What can a black man do that a llama can't? A: Walk

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wow i bet grass is lucky on st patricks day. why? becuase its green all year. *smacks* ow. i kno. but hey im corn.

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chuck norris was bit by a snake, a few hours later he died

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What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

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Y the girl tuch her butt she tried To get dookie

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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How do you blind an Asian? Rip out his eyeballs.

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Ask me if I'm a tree..... "are you a tree?" No.

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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What is the difference between a dog and pile of dead babies? One of them is alive.

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What do you call double A's? Batteries

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Why did the little boy leave his bike on the side of the road? He was kidnapped and his body was found 2 weeks later at Penn State

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what happens on labor day? the day she has a baby... ya your having a kid

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A redhead walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. He says yes.

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Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

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What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? Someone else's cheese.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops