Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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A young christian boy walks into a church and gets raped

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

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Kony 2012

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when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

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Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

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why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

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womens sports...

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Sarah Palin

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

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what did the atheist get for Christmas? Nothing. If he was being truly honest to his beliefs, he wouldn't partake in a christian holiday.

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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Welcome to Watchmojo dot com and today we'll be talking about the Top 10 numbers from 1 through 10. In this episode we will be discussing which numbers from 1 to 10 gain popularity and mainstream appeal amongst people from all over the world. Number 10. 10 (Ten) Number 9. 6 (Six) Number 8. 8 (Eight) Number 7. 4 (Four) Number 6. 5 (Five) Number 5. 3 (Three) Number 4. 2 (Two) Number 3. 9 (Nine) Number 2. 7 (Seven) Here are some honorable mentions: 3.14 9.9 1 and a half Number 1. 1 (One)

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What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

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Miami Heat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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