What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My room is a mess, Violets are still blue

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Christians

thumb_up thumb_down +31

3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken cross the road? because potatos are invading russia

thumb_up thumb_down +25

96

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Suisidal

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chickecross the roe? Because I was bein chased by an angry group o mobsters that 8 years ago were busted by the chicken when he was still working for NYPD and found them all in an ally and busted them for later discovered tax evasion and then 2 years later they found a way ou of prison and tracked down the chicken for 6 years until they found him in road island 4509 lake side estates and then proceeded to chase him onto and across a road that was near by to his lake side apartment and then they go tire and we. Back to their HQ in NY and then the leader of the gang went home and in a depression fuels rage mersiouy beat his wife then went up stairs and threw his 9 year old son out the window and hanged himself. The chicken also died because 8 years is at the top of their lifespan.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What a wonderfuuuul wooorld: Would this not be a wonderful world if we instead of killing innocent children, just gRaped them hard and painfully in every damn hole and let them go home? Ad: Consider the life of the poor children, Just 0rape them hard!... For love! Awww... Moral: What moral You see any moral here? XD No Not Nerometal, I am that "leader of the Neronist... whatever" Yes, that is who I am. Real moral: "Seriously who is gonna listen to some kid who is just (severely) butthurt anyway huh? Cut their tongues off! Just do not kill them... For a wonderful world..." <3 (Not a heart lol)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's round and red? A round and red solid.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Were do you find a dog with no legs ? Were you left him

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did the cat die? I just it nine times

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops