Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

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What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

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''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

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What's the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? I'll eat Megan Fox before I fuck her.

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a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

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There once was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, her vagina fell off.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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What is the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car!

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what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

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How do you like them apples I dont like aplles

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whats the stage after cancer? you die

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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Why did Billy fall off the slide? Someone threw a refridgerator at his face.

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How will the world end? That information is unknown

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Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

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Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

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Q. What did the Cat say to the Dog? A. "These humans are so jobless.."

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why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no guts

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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