good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

Why couldn't the black man swim? He has no legs.

Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

Who like vibrating dildos? Cammy

I'm going to rewrite history. History.

Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

A clown walking down the steet, trips -Ryan Vallee

Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

A man walked into a bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

What did hitler give his granddaughter? A gas bill.

How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

What do two Jews have in common? They both practice the same religion.

Your mom is so fat... That you inherited type one diabetes.

Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

DERP

A boy with one arm walks into a rock climbing facility and quickly realizes that his dream of being a rock climber is impossible because he is blind.

YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

A guy killed his kids and wife Pokémon GO also exists

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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