Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

Your momma so poor, she has a hard time paying her bills.

what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

aodhan hearty

2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

roses are red violets are blue .no one cares about you, your a jew.

A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

What did the two prostitute say to each other? I dont know, i wasn't there

Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

WOMENS RIGHTS

Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

A chicken crosses the road... Gets fined for jaywalking.

What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

what do you call a black lawyer? a very well educated black man

What starts with F and ends with UCK? FUCK

How did the baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken

sweating like antoni with a girl

Can i have a Ice Cream Kuhn?

A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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