what did the fart say to the butt........bye

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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why was the little boy sad? he found out that George Washington was dead.

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Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? What ever you want, its still not going to come.

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Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

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Yo mama so thin, she finally fit into the small - sized dress. She treats this as a great victory, and I am very happy for her.

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Q:Whats the difference between Jews and Pizza? A: Jewish people are humans, and pizza is a food

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fish fishy caoimhin

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What's the difference between Wayne Gretzky and Courtney Love? They have different proffesions

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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Why'd the man walk his dog His pen ran out of ink

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What do you call double A's? Batteries

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

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A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

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life is like a box of chocolates... it doesnt last long for fat peopl

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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just imagine like a whole dad no imagine like 1000 dads an army of dads ready to conquer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops