What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did jonah say to your mum ... Nothing jonah is your mum

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than being a Packer fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... Oh, wait...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what's worse then a blowjob?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A black man and a white woman walk into a bar and celebrate their interracial marriage anniversary over a couple of drinks and then call a cab to avoid driving while intoxicated

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Hearing that joke a million times on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What has 8 legs and 1 eye? 2 chairs and half a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

one time when i bought a sonic blast they gave me a regular? size spoon and i was like this is a huge inconvenience.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Did you know diarrhoea is genetic? It is a side effect of Polycystic Kidney Disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did a guy try to rob me? because he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

two peanuts were walking down the street. but one was unsalted...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is a pirate's favorite color? It depends on the pirate.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why doesn't a duck's quack echo? Evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? - Nothing This homeless man got a gift for his Birthday. What happened to the gift? - It got stolen the following day What did this homeless man get for New Year? - Still nothing Get real.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do the duck and elephant have in common?? Nothing, they are completely different species.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Theres an app for the iPhone.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than the Holocaust? A second Holocaust. What's worse than a second Holocaust? Being raped by Santa Claus. What's worse than that? NOTHING.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops