2 loaves of bread were in a bar they did nothing as they are inanimate objects

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the baby fall off the swing? It had no arms or legs. Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what does hi = good by cause person doesn't like you.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

this new cologne, it's kind of gross smelling.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man died. What was his name? Phil. His name was Phil.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't he was chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do u make a hockey player cry You Kill his entire family

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a fat boy and a thin boy? Fizzy drinks!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's funnier than an anti-joke? Sarcasm.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: He has a debilitating disease, it's called ALS.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

You know what's catchy? A cold

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What would u like to drink?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Warning: Legit Joke Below What is the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? Only one can raise a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the boy fail his final? His severe depression and progressive detachment from reality caused him to hang himself the night before

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two clowns are walking down the street The first says, "Whats better sunshine or rainbows?" The second says nothing, then casually picks up a brick and beats the other clown to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q.who is Tiny, a lion and has no friends and is a bald eagle? A.Rory Johnston

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops