Your mother is average.

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How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

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A man walks into a bar, the other man ducks.

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Like does not mean said. You can blame Justin Bieber for that one, cuz he was like "Baby Baby Baby" and I was like "no"

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Who. Who, Who? Shut up you damn owl, I'm trying to deliver a pizza.

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poop.

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The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

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tim tebow is a grat quarterback

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

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- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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An artist walks into a bar and orders a rum and ckoe. The bartender reads the first sentence and realizes the artist is dyslexic and fixes him a rum and coke.

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Faithful men.

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how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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What's red and a cow? Red cow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops