Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I saw 2 cannibals eating a clown. What did I do? Called the local police.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red Violets are blue I kinda have a bad memory What are we doing again?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happened to the chicken when it crossed the road? Nothing because the cars that almost hit it swerved off the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a blonde in a library? Lost

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the carpenter cry? Somebody killed his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Jesus say when he walked on water? I'm drowning

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A Mexican, a Jew, and a Colored guy walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What can I get you gentlemen today?"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red My bulb is blue My pants are extending When I look at you

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whta's the difrence betwen a goat and a hors? The goat goed too eet the hors thre day ago!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's under the first mate? The second mate.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote, puzzles still don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you blind an Asian? Rip out his eyeballs.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

AHLTFKCITAWKSHTC

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You killed my brother and call me the antichrist? Its lovable: Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the **** are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming? He died for their sins, not for yours... WELCOME TO HELL!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Chuck Norris was the leading role in the television show Walker, Texas Ranger.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops