Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Why did the man drive into the river? He was sleep deprived from working overtime.

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How do you know if you are an alien? When you start maulesting sea creatures for their milk

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You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

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An African American walks into a bar. The bar tender is a racist, so he asks the African American gentleman to leave.

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What did the panda say to the other panda? We are fuzzy Oreos

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there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

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What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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What's worse then your pets death? I don't know I asked you.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

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DAVID.B YOU O ES 2 BAR YA TRAMP

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So three Jews walk into a Biker Bar. Despite the fact that is was a self-proclaimed "Biker Bar", the group of men inside were in fact rather open-minded, and had no issues with new members. They had a rich conversation, and frequented the bar thereafter.

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Why couldn't the Asian man satisfy a woman? He was in a coma.

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Why was the butcher bald? He was undergoing intensive chemotherapy.

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Q.Why did the black man go to college? A. What does his race have to do with anything?

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Say you are caught in a net with 10 other people in said net at a construction site. A pair of scissors are right next to you and everyone said to use the scissors. But instead of using the scissors, you use your teeth in risk of a broken tooth.

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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knock knock whose there tim tim who just kidding its fred

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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