How many Poles does it take to change a lightbulb? Just the one, usually.

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What's another name for asexual reproduction? Parthenogenesis.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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dick dick dick... frogs

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If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

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Roses are red, Violets are too. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing infliction.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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Nickelback

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

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Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

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A Mexican, a Jew, an American and an Indian are on a plane with no parachutes. No one jumps out because no one has a parachute.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple that got hit by a bus.

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You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

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A white kid, a black kid, and an Asian kid all try out for the basketball team. Which one makes the team? All of them, because they are all very good.

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Your a bus driver, at the first stop, 4 people get on. At the second stop, 2 people get off. At the third stop, 7 people get off. At the fourth stop, everyone gets off. What is the bus drivers name?

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What happens when an Asian with a boner walks into a wall? He breaks his nose

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

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Q: Why was the little girl cowering in a closet in a corner. A: Because there was a murderer/rapist in her house with her oarents gone.

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A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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