A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

If u swipe fast u will see fish swimming -////--/// //-///--// --//--/// ---/////- -/////--/ ////---// ---///--- ---////-- --////--- //--///-// -//----/// -/-///-/// -/-/-/-/-/ -////-///// -/-/-/-/// -///------ ---------- --///-///-/ -////-//--- -/-/--/--- -/-/-////// ---------- --------- I will call ur doctor to tell him u are retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box

thumb_up thumb_down -22

In an apartment complex, a black family lived on the first floor, a mexican family lived on the second floor, and a white family lived on the third floor. Suddenly, at about noon on tuseday, a giant tornado came through town and took out the entire complex, destroying everything. Why did only the white familey survive the catastophy? Because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what would be the most epic fight ever chuck norris vs superman vs all legendary pokemon vs a giant who would win it me (im superman)

thumb_up thumb_down -22

roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock Knock Who's there? Not Harry Styles! - Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -22

"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Dubstep = a computer with a noisy virus.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

There was a cat and a copy cat. the regular cat jumped off a cliff. How many cats are left? 2 Cats have 9 lives!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what happens when you throw a rock in the water? it gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Bob: "Did you eat my sandwich?" Alex: "I am your sandwich."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops