How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a moose with a 12 gauge shotgun bullet through it's head? Open Season

thumb_up thumb_down -20

if your mother was put in a situation where she could either have sex with a man or a woman she would pick the woman

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

when i yell your name i probably want your attention :) S.H.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

shut up elliot

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the boy crying? His parents were brutally burned to death in a fiery car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you do when life hands you lemons? Such a statement assumes that life is an actual person, which is impossible. Thus, you do not need to concern yourself with what you must do when life hands you lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who? That's strange, most American's don't eat poo I'm Asian

thumb_up thumb_down -20

dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Coldpaly is a good band

thumb_up thumb_down -20

HALF LIFE 4 COMING OUT SOON!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the boy sad? His parents died in a horrible accient earlier that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What is red and green and goes 100/mph? A: A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you milk a cow? Pull on its' utters.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What did the serial rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops