What did the little girl with no legs or arms get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock knock? Who's there? Not that little girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A young boy asks his father if there will be cake at the party. The father tells him there won't be and tells him to f*ck off.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many fingers am i holding up? 4

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens have no sense of direction, he might have thought he was in wal-mart for all I care.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

obama

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Bin laden walks into a bar oh wait he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the bat mobile? Robin,get in the bat mobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do you say to a black guy on steroids? B!tch please

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Monks do not speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being unaware of his surroundings, the chicken was startled by an oncoming motor vehicle. Due to the animals vapid logic an reasoning, based on impulse it quickly ran to the other side of the street to avoid its imminent death by the speeding automobile. Unknowingly, the chicken had reached the other side of the road,

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A black man walks up to a white man with a shaved head and boots in a bar He then hands him a ten dollar bill and tells him he dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down +15

did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do u call a Mexican on the moon? An astronaut. What do u call all the Mexicans on the moon? Problem solved!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops