Knock knock. Who's there? It's the government, your home is being repossessed.

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What did the pitcher say to the batter who hit the ball very far? Wow, you hit that ball very far.

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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Guy 1: Hey, did you hear about this blind guy who went bungee jumping off a bridge? Guy 2: No, what happened? Guy 1: He couldn't see Jack!

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Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

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Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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Roses are red violets are blue im a schizophrenic and i am too.

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Knock, knock Who's there? I'm there.

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why did the baby cross the road i tied it to the back of a car

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A gay man walks into McDonald's. McDonald's serves people of all sexualities.

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Chuck norris is seen standing outside a bakery in Paris holding numchucks. He just finished lunch

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whats sad about 4 black people in a cadalic fallign over a cliff? it wasnt there car

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WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. I said who's there? Knock Knock. WHO THE FUCK'S THERE, GODDAMNIT? Knock Knock. PLEASE STOP IT STOP IT OH GOD STOP IT Knock Knock SWEET DEAR JESUS GOD CHRIST STOPSTOPOHGODSTOPITNOW Knock Knock. FORGODSSAKECOMEIN. Hello, Mark. Oh, hi, Steven.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

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What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

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Roses are gray Violets are black Don't judge me I'm color blind>.>

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What do you call a Black Priest? His title would probably be Reverend, and then his last name after it.

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Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

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Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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