When did joseph the deer learn to fly? - Never, deer can't fly

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What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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Adolf the Red-Nosed Hitler

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So I'm balls deep in this 9 year old...

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? He didn't, animal control took the dog away from Helen because she could not properly care for the dog.

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How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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what did the child say to his mother? daddy raped me!

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interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

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Listen, I cannot as much as I would like, to take the full responsibility for every decision my former followers might decide to make of their own, we are no religion nor do we follow any kind of doctrines, we encourage freedom but also respect for our fellow human beings, all of them regardless of race or affiliation. But you let me know whoever has as much as looked at you the wrong way, and I will make sure they no longer find themselves welcome within my order, nor anywhere else if their actions merit the firm hands of justice.

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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Whats more painful than falling onto a sharp stone? Suffering the loss of your mother and newborn brother in a tragic car accident on your birthday.

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What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

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what looks like a bug, lives in larch mount and lives in a mansion? Aodhan Hearty, lied about the mansion... he lives in a web with his buggy family

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why did bob fall off the swing Because he got hit by a microwave

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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How do you piss off a gypsy? Curse at him

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Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

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Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

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What's purple, red, green and does jumping jacks. Nothing... that sounds pretty crazy if you ask me.

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Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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