3 blind mice walk into a bar. they have no idea of their surroundings and are quickly crushed to death.

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

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What do you can a stinky mexican? Whatevet his name may be. Possibly Jose

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear asks the rabbit does shit stick to your fur? The rabbit says no, so the bear wipes his ass on the rabbit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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How did the Jewish man play racquetball? With a racket and a birdie.

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silly rabbit trix are for kids and jews

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Why was Johnny so mad at his father? Because his father had a constant drinking problem and was very abusive.

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What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

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Why was the 13 year old drug addict crying? Because somebody shot him in the foot

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How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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14 people jump in a hole about 25 ft deep. they can't climb out because it is a straight vertical drop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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