How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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Don't believe in Atheists.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Ryan

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why did the girl moan in pain? she got punched in the face.

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Donald trump walks into the whitehouse. He's there for a business meeting with the new president.

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? Fish are living organisms and guitars are instruments used for people's entertainment

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how do you scare a deaf person? you yawn

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Finding a half-eaten worm in your apple.

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A: Roses are red, Violets are blue. B: Then why are they called violets? A: I NEVER NOTICED THAT!

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No?

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Roses are Red Violets are Red Grass is Red Trees are Red My yard is on fire.

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what is juicy and smells like juice,but it is not juice? juice. i lied about it not being juice.

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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#Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Catherine of Aragon was one. # She failed to give him a son #He had to ask her for a divorce. #That broke her poor heart of course. #Young Anne Boleyn, she was two #Had a daughter, the best she could do #He said she flirted with some other man #And off with the chop, went dear Anne! #Lovely Jane Seymour was three! #The love of his lifetime indeed! #She gave him a son #Little Price Ed #Then poor old Jane...went and dropped dead! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! #He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Anne of Cleeves came at four #He fell for the portrait he saw! #But laid eyes on her face, and cried #SHE'S A HORSE! I MUST HAVE ANOTHER DIVORCE! #Catherine Howard was five #A child of nineteen, so alive #She flirted with others, no way to behave #The AXE sent young Cath to her grave! #Catherine Parr, she was last #By then all his best days were past #He lay on his death bed, aged just fifty-five! #Lucky Catherine- the last stayed alive! #I mean, how unfair! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #You could say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! And the moral of the story is: Never buy a car without knowing it's background.

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My grandma once told me " never trust the blacks"

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

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If a small quiz is a quizicle then what is a small test? A quiz.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? It depends on how many seats there are, but some could double-buckle and stuff like that to fit more if necessary.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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