Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

Wanna know my life in a nutshell? Well you can't. Life is an inanimate object an will therefore not fit inside anything, let alone a nutshell.

What Did The Kid With No Arms And No Legs Get For His Birthday? A Walking Stick

A man walks into a bar. The force of the impact causes serious head trauma and kills him within a matter of minutes.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

Think of a number between 0 and 2 That's how many times you're going to die in this life

What did the girl get for her birthday? the Plan B pill

A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

What did the blind quadriplegic get for Christmas? Cancer.

Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

Why did the little girl fall to death? Because pigs can't fly. It's impossible.

knock,knock you suck

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

roses are red violets are blue im in class i shouldnt be on this

How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? It would probably be the court janitor who was responsible for that job, rather than the lawyers.

why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

What's worse than getting raped? getting raped by a horse in car while listening to nickelback

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because he's a horse The bartender soon relizes there is a horse in his bar, and calls animal control

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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