What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A Pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do two black guys do when they walk into the convienent store with masks? Buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the man say when he lost his phone? Answer: I lost my phone!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between 4 and 6? 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the cat say to the dog? - meow!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two men walk into a bar...They are traveling together for a convention and like pub type bars and are excited to be there.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm wearing pants and I'm hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Kindly ask him to come down.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the Grandad teabag his Grandson? Because he likes dipping his balls into the mouths of his Grandchildren; as if they were a teabag and his mouth was a mug.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops