How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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A neutron walked into a bar and asked "how much for a drink?" The bartender did not reply because a neutron is so small he didn't notice that it even entered.

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What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

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Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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Roses are red Violets are blue These are facts that many people know

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Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

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what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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whats black white and red all over an abused child

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scenario: retarded monkey upside down in a mirror question: why is jims dad fat answer: the mexican chicken is an aperadus

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming and it seemed like a safe time to cross

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Did you hear about the man who swam to the bottom of the ocean? He drowned

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How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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Once you go black, you have a high chance of being in an interracial relationship.

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Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

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What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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