A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

Whats green and tasty? Snot

Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

What happens when you throw a red rock in a green pond? It sinks.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

A baby seal walks into a club.

Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

Hey guess what? Nevermind.

What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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