- Anti Joke

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

What's the number one killer in America? Death.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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