How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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pedophile

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A girl walks into a bar she is then drugged, raped and left in a back alley. To this day she still has psychological issues that are directly related to this event

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

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what happened to the guy that got attacked by a shark he died

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why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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