Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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What happens when you throw a red rock in a green pond? It sinks.

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

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What do you call a muslim with an RPG? Holy Shiite

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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LOL -LOL GUY

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A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

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What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

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What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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Asian NASCAR.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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