Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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Obama 2012

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A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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