what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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where did the black person go poop ? in the toilet!

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

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A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

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knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

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What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

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what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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wanna hear a joke? womens rights!

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What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

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A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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