A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fsh

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Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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Miami Heat.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

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What do you call a muslim with an RPG? Holy Shiite

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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who farted i did :]

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What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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