Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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What did the black man say to the jew and the blonde girl as they walked to the car. Shotgun.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

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"Have you got any Saturday jobs available?" "Yes"

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An Irish man, Scots man and a Welsh man walk into a bar. The barman says, "what is this some kind of joke?!" Peter, who lives in Cardiff, returned home, depressed that he is viewed as some sort of clown. It reminded him of when he was a school boy; a giant spot appeared on his nose. The kids just laughed at him. "Don't worry Peter" he said to himself, "It will all be over now... He later hung himself. His family have been informed.

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I once went to a chiropractor. She was so awful looking. You know those weird spiky fish with the lightbulb hanging off it's head? .....I saw one in a documentary once.

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Want to hear a joke? I hope not because I don't know any.

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Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a Sociopath with a very violent history.

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Why does a man wake up every morning to do the same job over again? Because, wait... what the heck kind of a question is that?

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

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U know whats worser than having a worm in your apple... Having 1352 dislikes on your anti-joke...

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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Your mom is so old, she was able to have children around the time you were born.

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Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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What's red and sweet and good to eat? A riddle that rhymes.

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Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

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Why wasn't the white guy voted for president? He had down syndrome

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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So a man walks into a bar and wonders why he walked into the building instead of simply just walking through the door. The man then realized that the building was if fact not a local bar, but instead a bowling alley. He was hallucinogenic and was in serious danger as he approached the candy man in the alley.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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