Friends are like trees, if you deprive them from water they'll die.

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure!

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Waffles ate my grandma

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

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You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

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I've just been struck by an enormous bolt of lightning. I am covered in boils and my house is full of frogs. I strongly recommend that when referring to God, always use the upper case 'H' on all personal pronouns.

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There are a fox and a chicken and the fox eats the chicken.

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What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

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What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

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Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

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What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

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A black person went into a store and paid full price for his tv

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A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

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Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

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Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

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An artist walks into a bar and orders a rum and ckoe. The bartender reads the first sentence and realizes the artist is dyslexic and fixes him a rum and coke.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? hit it with a brick.

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What's big, white, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasnt due to the fact that numbers have no feeling.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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