i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

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What did the black guy who was lost in Syria say? "Where am I?"

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

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89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

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So, a Hispanic, Jewish, Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "Aren't you tired of this?"

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Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

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Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

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A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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What do homeless people get at Christmas? Cold.

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how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops