Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

why did the woman call the police? because there was a murderer pointing a gun at her at her son.

Knock knock. Who's there. To get to the other side.

Q. Why did the black man not get on the boat A. Because he gets seasick

What's worse than dropping an ice-cream cone? A dead baby. What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than two dead babies? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping two ice-cream cones.

Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

Whats worse than getting shot in the foot? Watching each member of your family get shot in the foot.

whats black and hangs from my tree a plum

Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

Why couldn't John ride a bicycle? Because he is a fish.

Whats the difference between cake and dead babies? Cakes make people happy while dead babies are a sad and disturbing sight to see.

Why did the Olympic gold-medalist lose his faith in God? Because he began to feel that the the reasoning that most religions were based on was fairly spurious.

What did the blonde say when she saw anti-joke.com for the first time? Nothing. She's been in a vegetative state for three years and her parents finally decided to pull the plug.

Why wad six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sexual offender.

Why did the boy loose his glass with milk? He got hit by a bus.

MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Turns out he was needed immediately at a business meeting.

Knock Knock Who's there? Immigration. You're headed back to mexico.

Verbal assault; because battering someone to death with a dictionary has never been so much fun. [L]

Why did the chicken cross the road? after approximately 10 seconds of looking back and forth left to right the chicken finally came to a realization that the road is clear and safe to cross.

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What do you call a cow that's holy? Holy Cow

Do you know the muffin man? No

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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