Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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Hey guess what? Nevermind.

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God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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A young christian boy walks into a church and gets raped

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

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Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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equality for women

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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