Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You might be redneck if you are... Indian

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What’s brown, sticky and smells like poo? Shit!!

thumb_up thumb_down -56

thumbs up!

thumb_up thumb_down -66

What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops