A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

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What did the young girl get for Christmas? Violently raped and murdered by her abusive father.

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There is a running race, both black and white people are running in this race! Half way through there is an avalanche and every black person running was killed! Who won the race??? Society... :D

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Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

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Good to see you today!

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

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what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

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What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

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What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

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Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

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What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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