(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

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roses are red, violets are blue when ever l flush the toilet i think of you

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What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

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knock knock whos there ? Jordan Jordan who ? Jordan Walters

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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Why is it bees travel in formation, one side is longer than the other? ... There are more bees on one side

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A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

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i'm a loser with body odor.. plus i play pokemon to pass the time because reality is just to horrible to face. guess who? josh wood.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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