Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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You.

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Good to see you today!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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How Long is a Chinese name.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

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roses are red, violets are blue when ever l flush the toilet i think of you

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Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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Sarah Palin

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What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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