a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

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i'm a loser with body odor.. plus i play pokemon to pass the time because reality is just to horrible to face. guess who? josh wood.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was recently released from prison for violent crimes.

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Hi

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What's round and red? A round and red solid.

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

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What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

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What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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roses are red violets are blue i had sex with your dog

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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Suck my bigvagina you faggetass bitchybuns

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

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The NBA lockout

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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A guy walks into a bar. He then comes home at 4 a.m. to beat his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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