What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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A BABY seal walks into a club

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A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

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Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Jesus wept.

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So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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