My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

thumb_up thumb_down -68

How's your mum? she's dead..

thumb_up thumb_down -114

Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

thumb_up thumb_down +71

what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

thumb_up thumb_down +59

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the chicken cross the road ??? why would you care??

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Know what's funny? Jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks around a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops