Know what's funny? Jokes.

whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

A BABY seal walks into a club

What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

whats worse than 10 babies in a mail box 1 baby in 10 mail boxes

How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

A man walks around a bar.

How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

I went to the store and I fell

Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

well it rained all night the day i left, the weather it was dry, i can't remember the words but susana don't you cry oh susana don't you cry for me for i come from alabama with a banjo on my knee oh

Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

Why did i write this joke knowing i wont get published? I don't know.

What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

live or die you decide to late time to die

Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

America Votes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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