Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

I went to the store and I fell

Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

What's white and sticky? A white stick.

"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

Roses are grey, violets are grey, the sky is grey so is the grass everything is grey, as i am colourblind

Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

A Woman out of the kitchen

What do you call a dinosaur when it gets out of a pool? Wet.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

How Long is a Chinese name.

What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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