What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

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I went to the store and I fell

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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Want to hear a joke? Me to...

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If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

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Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

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A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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