How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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you.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza is an inanimate object, while a black man is a person. racist F.u.c.k.

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What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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